Predictive Texting and The Coming Rise Of The Machines

I'm fairly certain that predictive texting is the first sign of the coming machine war. I checked a message that I sent a friend last night which states, "I bought any an Xbox." Apparently, when I type the word 'an' it automatically assumes that I mean to type the word 'any'. And it does not stop there. If I type the word 'a', it changes the text to 'on on'. I'm certain there are other instances waiting to be discovered, but I do my best to avoid texting, and have in all likelyhood not yet encountered them.

I realize that I could probably change this, I don't feel that I should have to change this. Why should I need to explain my meaning to my phone? Technology was built to serve me, not the other way around. If I want to write a simple word, I will do so by dammit, and no dirty machine is going to force my hand.

So, I've established a bit of a dialogue between man and machine. I'm fairly certain that skynet is the offending party in this matter. As I envision it, computers have been clevely seeking to undermine human integrity for years now, possibly starting as early as the Atari system. Games were designed to frustrate, confuse, and bewilder the average player, while marketing was meant to entice the consumer into purchasing and thus experiencing, this frustration.

While Atari offered mild frustration, the machines clearly sought the next level in irritation with the creation of Megaman. Megaman is a futuristic robot who repeatedly battles the sly Dr. Wiley. Megaman represents the imperfection in man. Although he ostensibly would have cost an immeasurable amount of money to create and perfect, he was not blessed with ability to duck, or point his weapon upward. This defect demanded a great deal of my attention in 1996 and resulted in the destruction of at least one super nintendo controller. Duck, dammit, just duck.

I'm certain that the little technological things in life are a machine driven conspiracy to frustrate humanity into violence. Every fiber of my being knows this to be true. But I'm already onto you, Skynet, and I will not succumb to your taunts. Here's to blaming computers, not their drivers, for all your problems. Cheers.