Tsar Bomba

I had an Avery Imperial Stout last night. I don't recall what its clever name was, but I think it should be called the Tsar Bomba, because it was ridiculously strong. To say I'm hungover is an exercise in understatement that is difficult to quantify.

Yesterday a customer made the observation that I was a "faggot". I suppose I exude homosexuality, if one can be said to exude homosexuality, based on my appearance. I was wearing a black Dickies button up work shirt and a brown set of work pants. I had and have an unkempt beard, had my glasses on, and was wearing my Pumas. I wear tennis shoes to work sometimes, because I'm a rebel. That says homosexual to me.

An observant witness may have noticed my wedding ring. I'm certain the party in question did, as he was quite astute in pointing out various facts, such as "that we are all lazy bitches and faggots," and later the uplifting news that he will indeed be able to get weed that day. I was relieved to hear this. A victory for the customer is a success for me. Get high, my friend, get high.

Regardless, this was an interesting bit of news to me. I was concerned with how to approach Elizabeth with this news, as it would diminish the likelyhood of our future sexual encounters. I really thought I loved women, too. I guess I was wrong all this time. The customer is always right, after all.

She took it well. She was disappointed, but I think she understands the importance of letting go, and of finding acceptance. We have separate rooms now, so I can avoid the temptation to break character. I've been watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' with her. I'm not certain that this is what gay people do, but I'm assuming so. I just want to be accurate in my faggotry.

So where is that Tsar Bomba when you need it? This incident was one of many similar occurences the same day. The lady before him grit her teeth while she spoke with me and told me that we were pieces of shit. When I said anything in response, she told me "not to smart off". Yesterday it was a full on death threat. Bring on the bomb, I'm not certain I can make a compelling argument for the salvation of humanity.